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No foreplay, he just yanked my legs apart and shoved it in dry. It felt like a blunt stick scratching the side of my already bone-dry vagina. I faked two orgasms to try to get him to hurry up and finish.

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Oh, thank you. No, I was really comfortable, see, white folks take everything from me. They got- NBC gotta motherfucker called- from the gay liberation, they call up.

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She is our lord and saviour. She created grande-ing, helped bring BDE into the mainstream, and gifted us with bops fitting for every moment of heartbreak and restoration. We laughed along, analysed photos of Pete Davidson wearing sweatpants, and focused on dissecting every other bit of the video.

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A riana Grande did not invent the phrase big dick energynor did she invent the concept, but it did start with her boyfriend, Pete Davidson, of whom she allegedly tweeted that he was endowed to the tune of 10in. That message has since been deleted, and anyway, has nothing to do with, or is at best only tangential to, big dick energy. You could neither uphold nor bring down capitalism with your penis, nor even provide any modest underpinning for a social democratic mixed-market.

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In the late winter ofthe writer-director had just finished the awards-circuit death march for The Big Short, his look at the housing crisis. He finally gives up, slouches back down and settles for adjusting the scarf around his neck. You do a junket or two, maybe you go to England … but this?

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I had finally gotten home from work after what felt like the longest 12 hour shift ever. My feet ached and all I wanted to do was sit and wallow in a beer while watching reruns of 90's sitcoms. Then my phone rang.

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No thanks. No rinkydink dicks for me, please. And I want a normal-sized dick, not one that makes me wince when you put it in! They give me UTIs even when I pee like three times: before, maybe during and immediately after.

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How big? I thought I would give it a go, so I guess my expectations were really low. One guy that I slept with, he had a big frame but he had a really tiny dick.

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I have to say, it felt like I was living inside an episode of Sex and the City. His dick is like a gherkin! Like most women, I carry around my own small-penis story, to be shared at moments precisely like this.