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Contemporary participants define BDSM as an umbrella term for alternative sexual activities that may be considered non-normative by others. Other practices within the BDSM category include leather, latex, and rubber fetishes, body modification, urolagnia golden showerswax play, edgeplay, pet play, and more. This correlates to the large emphasis on self-identification and self-expression in the BDSM community.

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Bondage and discipline refers to the consensual physical restraint of a sexual partner for the purpose of inflicting pain, punishment, or humiliation. Bondage and discipline is part of Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadomasochism BDSMa larger category of sexual activities based in erotic power exchange. Bondage is a common fantasy for both men and women, and it appears that many couples have at one time or another experimented with bondage.

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Typically, a dominant partner will be the one to restrain and discipline a submissive partner. Restraints can range from simple setups, like a length of rope or handcuffs, to more intricate setups, like bondage cages or ceiling hooks. Discipline often involves correcting a submissive's behavior with physical and psychological punishments, like spanking or erotic humiliation.

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And while it's no secret that the BDSM community is, er, not all that fond of the Fifty Shades franchise, there's no denying that the series has put the kink in the spotlight. But what is BDSMreally? I chatted with sex educator, instructor, and coach Lola Jean to find out.

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OK, guess this is the time for a little context. It was sex we were talking about at the offices of the Lifestyles Organization, an average, plain-brown wrapper kind of place in Anaheim. Sitting across the table from me were the experts, or at least they claim to be, and who was I to challenge their credentials? Jenny Friend, the director of educational research at the Lifestyles Organization, gave me a friendly, educational explanation.

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BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondagedisciplinedominance and submissionsadomasochismand other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practising BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent upon self-identification and shared experience. BDSM is now used as a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationshipsand distinct subcultures.

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Psychosexual therapist Emily Power-Smith explains that the rules of a bondage discipline submission masochism lifestyle rely on a safe, consensual atmosphere. Video: Enda O'Dowd. Research shows that, historically, some of those drawn to being submissive often have to be powerful and responsible in their everyday lives.

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